The Move – 21 days in Lincoln

Lounging on the sofa smelling the sweet vanilla fragrance from the burning candles, my laptop before me, I have the urge to write what has been happening in my life since…. Well only since last week. It’s just after 3pm and I’m in Lincoln. This is my 2nd day here and I’m trying to make myself comfortable. The landlord is coming over at 6 and so I’m trying to get dinner out of the way. I have lamb slow roasting in the oven since mid-day and have just added carrots and potatoes to the dish.

Today, I woke up feeling relieved. Yesterday, I got a terrifying call that my mum was admitted to the hospital. It felt like I was waiting for years to hear more information and for my bf to get back from work to rush me back to London. Thankfully, it was not a mini-heart attack as they had thought initially. Few tests later, they allowed her to go home and wait for the results. She’s in a lot of pain, but she told me not to come down. Thankfully, my sisters have been giving me updates. My mum is a woman of strength and I greatly admire her. I plan to write more about her tomorrow. So much to say!

It could have been worst but it’s not. I’m still shaken and afraid to call my mum. I’ve only been speaking to my sisters. Maybe, I’m running away from the emotion. Yesterday, I was stuck indoors in a foreign city waiting. Waiting for news… waiting for a way out… waiting for transportation. Every time the phone rang, my heart simultaneously shrank and pushed out my chest – not a nice feeling. But this is my life… no control of the twist and turns. Today, I wanted to live in some fantasy life. I decided to choose and bring my daydream to life. I picked the idea of being a housewife for a day… a very sexy housewife. I cleaned the flat, put on some classical music, dusted, lit the candles in the living room and kitchen – seasoned my lamb and prepared dinner 6 hrs before it would be eaten – answered my correspondence through email, wrote a report, had breakfast – took a long shower, fixed my face, moisturised – reclining on the sofa – skipped through magazines.

Tomorrow, I’ll come back to reality. Today, for once, let me play out this fantasy. I have 19 days remaining in Lincoln. Hopefully within this time period, I’ll figure out what next. What can I do in the meantime, while I wait for my passport – while I wait to find out where in the world will I be. What can I do to bring me closer to my destiny? What can I do to prepare myself in going back to the workforce? How can I become more in charge of my life and to have a better balance? What more can I do to make 2009 count?

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

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